Wedding Practices:  Many times couples and members of their wedding party like to be sacramentally prepared for the wedding celebration by using the Sacrament of Penance (confession) either before or after the rehearsal and should be arranged with the parish priest ahead of time.

Couples thinking about marriage should contact the parish priest prior to engagement or at least six months prior to the anticipated wedding date. The church desires to help couples prepare a good foundation for a lifelong commitment to this sacred marriage vocation.

Married Couples Ministry
Meeting Content: The Married Couples Ministry promotes the sacrament of Matrimony and supports couples in the parish community in living and witnessing to living the sacrament. Couples in the ministry meet once per month to discuss or study some aspect of living the sacrament; periodically perform a ministry of service with spouses and family, participate in an annual Lenten Day of Reflection, an annual retreat and/or participation in a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend (sample video shown above).

MCM Promotes and Organizes:
Annual World Marriage Day: 2nd Sunday in February at OLPH
OLPH Participation in the Annual Anniversary Celebration at the ADW in June
Supports couples preparing for Marriage at OLPH.

All married couples in the parish are invited to ministry activities and our ministry has committed to reach out to other parishes in the deanery and the inner city.  As the ministry matures, it looks to minister and witness to youth and young adults about how to live the sacrament.

Chairperson:
MCM meeting:
MCM Turn Out Schedule: On the third Sunday of the month as a public witness to the parish community

Marriage Preparation, Process and Guidelines

Handouts: Prenuptial Investigation, Inventory, Pre-Cana Program Brochures, Liturgical Planning Booklet

Contact Person: Deacon Timothy Tilghman    tilghman@gmail.com 

OLPH Parish Guidelines for Marriage Preparation   Draft II  9-18-12
Congratulations on your decision to prepare for and celebrate the sacrament of Marriage at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church. 

Welcome to our parish Marriage Preparation Program. Our goal is to help prepare the two of you for your lives together as husband and wife. This sacrament builds on the Vocation Call to Faith in Baptism and is one of the answers each of us gives to the Vocation call to lifestyle (Single Life, Marriage, Priesthood and Religious Life). It empowers and guides us in the answer to the third Vocation Call of Jesus to carry out His Mission and Ministry. Marriage or Matrimony is special because the husband and wife are the ministers of the sacrament before a priest/deacon and two witnesses serving as the Church’s witnesses. Our Church teaches us that the Wedding Day is the beginning of a Marriage Commitment that is for a lifetime. It is a sacrament that includes, not just the two of you and God, but includes the Church. Thankfully the Church provides for a step by step process that helps lay a strong a foundation for that lifelong commitment as well as prepares a couple for the wedding celebration. That is why there is a minimum six-month preparation time before the wedding date. At Our Lady of Perpetual Help that support and guidance is not only offered prior to your wedding, but also supported through our Parish Marriage Ministry, World Marriage Day, Marriage Encounter and Retreats for Married Couples. We are most grateful that you chose to prepare for your marriage here.

Our marriage preparation program process:

1. MEET WITH ANY PRIEST OR DEACON:
They will explain the preparation program and begin part 2 and 3.

2. PRENUPTIAL QUESTIONNNAIRE. 
This questionnaire is to establish the freedom to marry in the Church and the couples awareness of and commitment to the purposes of marriage.

3. FOCCUS PREMARITAL INVENTORY INSTRUMENT. 
This instrument is a tool to help you explore the essential elements of married life and to insure that as a couple you have discussed them and generally worked out how you will strive to live them.  Each of you will complete the inventory separately either hand written at the rectory  or  online (online  inventory is $15). After the inventory results are scored either the Deacon and his wife or one of the parish priests will discuss them with you as a couple.  The number of sessions depends on the FOCCUS results. To sign up and pay for the online inventory, go to www.foccus.org.

NOTE: We understand that wedding dates are driven not just by the desire of you the couple, but also by the availability of the reception space and the church. Many times that requires planning a year in advance. Please note that the date for the wedding cannot be set until after both the Prenuptial Questionnaire and the FOCCUS Prenuptial Inventory is completed and reviewed by the priest or deacon. So it is wise to begin this conversation as early as possible prior to the anticipated wedding date.

4.  MARRIAGE PREPARATION CLASS. 
The focus of these classes is to appreciate what happens after you are married, empower you to set appropriate and realistic goals, and to insure you put pieces in place that will support your marriage. You may participate in an Engaged Encounter Weekend, or a program such as Three to Get Married, (offered at Center for Family Development, Bethesda, MD 20718, www.bethesdacfd.org), which costs $275, or an Archdiocesan Pre-Cana Course of 16 hours presented on two consecutive Saturdays at the Archdiocesan Pastoral Center, 5003 Eastern Avenue, Hyattsville, MD.  Cost is $205 and includes lunch.  The couple must attend both sessions. For more information, call (301)853 5337 or email flm@adw.org.

The topics covered in the program include:
Biblical Basis of Marriage & Family Life 
Communications
Finances
Preparation for Celebration of the Sacrament
Prayer
Human Sexuality
Introduction to NFP
Vocation to Parenthood
Family
Sacramentality of Marriage

Optional Encouraged Program:
ADW NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING (NFP) COURSE.  NFP will be introduced in the 16-hour class and revisited in the couple to couple setting as we discuss the FOCCUS inventory. Take this class to guide you in family planning. The Archdiocese asks for a $25 donation for this class. 
For more information, call (301)853 5337 or email flm@adw.org.

5. PLANNING YOUR WEDDING:
This celebration is an act of worship and thus we celebrate what we believe in Christ Jesus. The ritual options starting with the procession up the church aisle should reflect what you believe in connection with our Sacramental beliefs. Marriage is a sacrament of unity, the vision of Christ and his Church.

Should we celebrate our Wedding at a Mass?  
Ordinarily we celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage in the context of Mass. However, when the bride or groom is of different Christian denomination or religion, and since most non-Catholics do not share our beliefs about the Eucharist and thus cannot receive Holy Communion,  we recommend the Sacrament of Marriage be celebrated with the Liturgy of the Word.

We will provide you with a Wedding Liturgy Planning Book,  like "Together for Life" by Rev. Joseph Champlain, to provide the ordinary scripture readings for weddings, options for various prayers including your vows.  In addition, we include a parish guideline for the Celebration of your wedding.  Once the two of you have agreed on the final choices for the celebration, you will need to sit down with the priest or deacon witnessing your marriage. This is important not only for any printed program you might have, but also important for your wedding rehearsal, which is the beginning of wedding celebration.  Wedding Coordinators who wish to contribute to the planning of the Wedding Ceremony should be at the meeting with the couple and minister, so that what is agreed will be implemented during the rehearsal and the wedding celebration. Once the wedding party gets into church, the presiding minister is in charge of the rehearsal and celebration. 

May God Bless all our efforts to establish the Marriage on a firm faith filled foundation. May the tools and wisdom you receive in the process of preparation serve you well in the years to come. Thank you for witnessing to us the Love God has for all of us through your married love.
The Pastor and Parish Family of Our Lady of Perpetual Help

PARISH GUIDELINES for WEDDINGS
The Wedding Liturgy is a public celebration and can be attended by anyone. We extend special invitations to guests because we especially want them to participate in the Wedding Ceremony and Wedding Reception which is private.  It is an act of sacred worship for the parish community.  People who come are expect to not only attend, but also participate. The Wedding Party are considered an extra special group of participants because have been near and dear to the couple getting married and pledge themselves to especially support you after your wedding and throughout your married life. Finally remember that God is at the center of all that is to unfold. May God be great in all of us in this sacred endeavor. To help you understand and to find resources relating to Marriage in the Catholic Church, we recommend you visit the internet website http://foryourmarriage.org/catholic-marriage/planning-a-catholic-wedding/

Day and Time for Weddings: Weddings at OLPH are ordinarily celebrated on Saturdays from 10AM through 2:30 PM.  Saturday Evening Weddings can be celebrated from 6:30 to 8PM.  Times and decorations must be set around the normal Saturday Vigil Mass at 4:30 PM.  We ask you to be punctual, which means be early in arriving for the rehearsal and for the wedding celebration.    
Music Selections: So much of worship of God and celebration of our Sacraments is in our prayers of song. Most of the songs we listen to and which inspire us are about love.  There are secular songs that are indeed expressions of the sacred.  We encourage you to select any secular music for performance before the wedding and if necessary for the recessional song. During the Wedding, sacred music, especially songs and hymns that include the congregation is the norm. 

Please note that the "Ave Maria" should never be sung during or after Communion because the focus should be on Jesus rather than Mary. In addition, the "Lord's Prayer" can never be a solo during the Mass, because it is a prayer exclusive to the congregation.  

Music Ministers: The following competent musicians and singers from OLPH are available for weddings. Please contact them directly. Outside musician and singers outside the parish are acceptable, presuming their respect for the Roman Catholic Liturgical Celebrations.

Phone info from Bernice
George Stewart 240-404-4904
Dehrric Richburg 301-583-8356
Debra Tidwell-Peters 202-889-8944

Rehearsals: The Day and Time is set at the time the Marriage Date and Time are set. It is usually held the Thursday or Friday evening before the wedding. If planned properly should last no more than 45 minutes to an hour.  This is the beginning of the celebration of the sacrament. All participants in the celebration should be present so that no detail is missed in your “once in a lifetime experience” of the sacrament.   The Marriage License (You are required to get the license from the District of Columbia Court, 500 Indiana Avenue, NW, Washington, DC.  The priest or deacon witness’ name is required to be on the certificate prepared by the District.  The witnessing minister must sign this document immediately after the celebration of the sacrament.)  and Ring(s) should be brought to rehearsal and kept safely at the rectory until the Marriage is celebrated.  Please note that if you want the Priest/Deacon to attend your rehearsal dinner and/or wedding reception, you need to invite him as this is not an automatic expectation.

Church decorations:  It is your day at the church.  Your church home should be decorated appropriately to make your union as husband and wife special.  The ordinary liturgical colors for the sanctuary is white and during Advent or Lent it is purple.   Decorations should not block the view of the altar from the assembly. Thus arches if desired could be used at the front entrance to the church, but not in the sanctuary.  insuring the safety of the wedding party, runners are allowed.    

Wedding Practices:  Many times couples and members of their wedding party like to be sacramentally prepared for the wedding celebration by using the Sacrament of Penance (confession) either before or after the rehearsal and should be arranged with the parish priest ahead of time. The Unity Candle, at which the family candle is often lit by the Mothers of the Bride and Groom when they process to their seats before the Bridal Party processes into the Church, and the center candle which is lit by the newly wedded couple after the exchange of rings, is also permitted.  A floral bouquet placed at the feet of the Blessed Mother as a symbolic action asking the prayerful intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary over the newly married couple is quite appropriate often accompanied by the hymn "Ave Maria".  Use of a Jumping Broom and Lasso with their cultural symbols of unity are permitted as well.  

Photography:  Cameras should be placed so that they do not block the ministers, wedding party, or assembly or become a distraction. Photographers should be advised of these spaces and should confer with the witnessing minister about where to locate equipment and how to capture the event without disrupting the celebration of the sacrament.

Wedding Costs:  We are well aware that the National Average Cost of a Wedding is well beyond $20,000. In this day and age such amounts certainly cover the major cost of new automobile and is a fine down payment on home ownership.  Weddings should ordinarily  be a once in a lifetime event and thus it is very special in the life of a couple committing their lives to a marriage relationship until death do you part.  Please carefully consider the costs involved. Note that when the gifts of bread and wine are brought forth in a Wedding Mass, that a donation to the poor or a particular charity is a worthy gift. 

Panorama Room Hall Rental:  A brochure will be provided that includes the information you need to rent the Panorama Room with a capacity of 350.

Church Offerings: The preparations for marriage, required by the Church, and it impact obviously go way beyond the wedding celebration.  Each couple must prayerfully count the costs of their wedding and weigh the consequences of their decisions not only for the celebration, but for the marriage life yet to unfold.  For the Church there are obvious costs for services rendered or facilities provided and clean up afterward, not to mention the prayers, spiritual and practical advice given. Remember your donation to the church is not for services rendered, but a donation so that Mission and Ministry of Jesus Christ may go forth from this Church.  Please keep that in mind as you consider your donation to the Church.

On Time Wedding Deposit: Our Lady of Perpetual Help requires a deposit of $100 to be paid to the parish no later than one week prior to your wedding.  If your wedding celebration begins within 15 minutes of its scheduled start time your deposit will be refunded to you; if you are late the parish will keep the deposit.  This deposit is a small incentive to remind your wedding party to be punctual.

Stipends:  It is appropriate to provide a stipend to the minister and parish staff that assist in conducting your wedding celebration.  The priest/deacon who conducts the Mass or Liturgy of the Word, altar servers.  Please consult with the priest or deacon during final preparation about what is appropriate.